3/11

It was already 2 years ago, but it feels like yesterday.

I woke up early, because I couldn’t sleep well. A foreshadowing?

I was visiting my family that time. Because I didn’t want to wake up anyone, I stayed at bed and turned on my netbook. The first thing what I am always doing, was looking up the news and facebook. Germany and Japan has a 7 hour time-difference. So it was still early morning in my safe hometown, everyone were asleep and in dreamed about a colourful candy cotton world with pink unicorns, in the same time Japan was shaking and about to face a huge tsunami.

I was horrified by the news, the first pictures and videos. Were my friends in Tokyo fine? How many people were able to safe themselfs before the water devour the coastline? Could they safe children, elders, ill people, pets? (I know. Many people don’t think about the pets, at least they wouldn’t be one of their first thoughts. But I love animals. Wild and Farmanimals, well, it was clear that they couldn’t be saved But what about dogs and cats? Did they open the birdcages before executing their houses? Aren’t they something like children? For me they are. So I am always thinking about the pets. Sometimes I am scared, that some thief would come to my apartment or a fire would break out. The worst things that could happen in Germany, I think. So I am wondering if I could safe my cat or if he would hide and I wouldn’t be able to safe him. And sometimes when I am going over the streets or driving with car and so on, and thinking about how easily an accident could happen, I am not thinking about myself, I am only thinking about my cat, what would happen to him. Sorry, I didn’t want to write about that. It’s just that I can’t explain myself in english but still I want that other people can understand my feelings and the way I think about things.)

All day long I looked at the newstickers in the internet and watched some of the special announcements on television. Reading news and watching videos from all over the world, I got a bit confused about whom I should believe. From the japanese news I couldn’t get that much information, especially when the nuclear incident started. But I still think the german ones, like almost every news agencies fro the west, went to overboard with the fore-mongering. I still tending to believe more off the german than the japanese informations. But I don’t share the thoughts of my family and non-japan-related friends. I have the feeling they think that Japan is moribund, that you shouldn’t eat or drink anything what’s coming from Japan, even don’t touch anything what’s Japan imported. Let’s don’t speak about traveling to Japan. Now think about when I told them 2 years ago that I still want to go to Japan as soon as possible and stying there for 1 year. And when the crazy me were even speaking about living there for a longer time, if I would like it to live and work in Japan and get the chance. Even now, when everything calmed down a bit overseas, they seeing me death in a few years, because of contamination, earthquake, an other big tsunami, taifun or volcanic eruption. But still they are feared most of the contamination.

I know that. I know that all. But I put up with it. It’s my dream going to Japan. Since so many years. Why should I wait 20, 30 or more years? There would always be something why you shouldn’t go. I couldn’t get the working holiday visa then. I would have a family by then (hopefully). I could die by anything else before that. It’s highly possible that I would have cancer by then (because of my genetic), so why should I wait? That’s my families main point, right? That I would get cancer because of the radiation. But I would get it either way. They know it. They should know it. Either way I can’t tell them.

This day made me thinking about the death. Thinking about my live. My dreams. It was depressing. But now I can appreciate the present more. I’m always admiring those persons, who are living the day as it could be their last. Days filled with thinking are letting me aproach that mindset more and more.

Back to the topic:

I took a minute’s silence and praying for the victims of 3/11.

I hope the dead people found peace. I hope the aggrieved party will find happiness again. I hope the nuclear meltdown won’t go any worse. I hope Japan won’t have to suffer like that anytime again. I hope the people from all over the world will take it as a warning, taking it as a second chance to change their live, to change the world. Even if we could only little babysteps, at least we should try to get a better world for future generations.